（续上一期）
话说，包括钢琴在内，Joshua并没有任何乐器的童子功，反而是他对语言、文学的兴趣，以及熟练掌握多国语言的能力，让他乐于并精于世界合唱文献研究，并在合唱艺术之路越走越远。然而真正让他执著前行、大器晚成的“原力”，则是音乐在他心灵深处所激发出的最存粹的美的感受。
这一期，小虫就让Joshua本人，说一下他自己曾经经历的那些有趣而“刺激”的故事，以及他个人对音乐和合唱灵光乍现似的至深感悟。从这篇类似自传的文章中，我们可以了解作为一位“半路出家”的音乐家，Joshua内心深处最感性的那一面，并期待能为音乐及合唱工作者带来一些思考和共鸣。
在开始阅读之前，如果环境允许，或者能戴上耳机，您可以先拉到文末，点开理查·斯特劳斯的那“4首最后的歌”，边听，边读......
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Thinking Beyond Borders
·跨·界·思·维·
by Dr. Joshua Habermann，2017Google Translate、小虫合唱联合译制
Every family has its lore- the stories that are told and retold at family gatherings. One of my parents' favorites is how, when asked what I wanted for my 5th birthday, I told my mother in total earnestness that I wanted a passport and an atlas. To her credit she got me exactly what I asked for, and though the passport lived in a drawer, the atlas was put to immediate use. I loved to open it at random and read the exotic names, imagining future journeys.
每个家庭都有其传说——那些在家庭聚会上被反复讲述的故事。我父母最喜欢讲的故事之一，是我5岁那年，他们问我生日想要什么，我真心实意地告诉妈妈说我想要一本护照和一本地图集。让人欣慰的是，她给了我我想要的东西。尽管那本护照一直躺在抽屉里，但那册地图集却立即发挥了作用。我喜欢时不时打开它，读着那些充满异国情调的名字，想象着未来的旅程。
Upon reaching sixth grade we had the option to study either Spanish or French, and living in California Spanish seemed the logical choice. I took to the task happily, and discovered an affinity for it. By high school, I had added night classes at the local German cultural center, and attempted broken conversations with the old Italian ladies who were the most colorful residents of my San Francisco neighborhood.
到了六年级的时候，我们可以选择学习西班牙语或法语。在加利福尼亚生活，西班牙语似乎是合乎逻辑的选择。我兴高采烈地选择了它，并很快感受到了这种语言的亲切。高中时，我在当地的德国文化中心报读了夜班（语言）课程，并尝试着插入到意大利老妇人之间的对话当中，这些意大利老妇人是我在旧金山最多姿多彩的邻居。
Where this fascination with languages came from was a mystery to everyone. No one in my family had spoken anything but English for generations, but my relatives nonetheless gamely encouraged my obsession. When in 9th grade my school offered an opportunity for Spanish students to participate in a summer exchange program, they weighed the costs with the mounting grocery bills required to keep me fed, and realized that shipping me overseas could be good not only for my education but also for the family budget.
没有人知道（我）对语言的迷恋到底是源自何处。除了英语之外，我的家族世代相传没有人会说其他任何一种语言，尽管如此，我的亲戚都在半开玩笑中鼓励我（对语言）的痴迷。当我9年级的时候，我的学校为西班牙语学生提供了参加夏季交流计划的机会，我父母算计了一下为了把我喂饱（包括教育）而日益增长的杂七杂八的各种花销，意识到直接把我送到海外（读书），不仅对我的教育有好处， 也对家庭预算有帮助。
We were to have no control over the country- we were guaranteed only that it would be Spanish-speaking, There was something in the randomness that appealed to me. It reminded me of cracking open my atlas and dreaming, so I rolled the dice and off I went to Santiago, Chile in the summer of 1983.
我那时不知道该去哪个国家——我们只知道那必须是一个说西班牙语的地方。仿佛某些随机的东西在召唤着我， 让我想起了小时候打开的地图册和那些梦想，于是我掷了一下骰子，然后在1983年夏天去了智利的圣地亚哥。
I was placed with a local family living in a modest area of the city, and had three host brothers around my age for company. Chile was ruled at the time by Augusto Pinochet, who had seized power in a US-backed military coup in 1973. As the tenth anniversary of the coup approached, frustrated protestors took to the streets, erecting barricades of flaming tires and banging pots and pans until the army was sent in to quell the uprising. Classes at the schools were cancelled and a curfew went into effect, enforced by machine gun-wielding teenagers scarcely older than me.
我被安置在那个城市偏僻一隅的当地人家中，主人家里有三个跟我年岁相仿的弟兄，正好有伴。智利当时是由奥古斯托·皮诺切特（Augusto Pinochet）统治，皮诺切特在1973年由美国支持的军事政变中夺取了政权。随着政变十周年的临近，沮丧的示威者走上街头，用燃烧的轮胎和叮叮当当的锅碗瓢盆架设路障，直到军队被派去平息暴动。学校的课被迫取消，宵禁也开始了，而这（居然）是由那些拿着枪、几乎还没有我大的年轻人所造成的。
For a kid from California this was all quite new, but my host family took all of it in stride. It was clear that this was part of daily life there, and they courageously managed their jobs and the ordinary tasks of living in an environment that seemed to me to be anything but ordinary. Experiences like this in our tender teenage years can be intense, and in a very short time I felt a part of their lives, and they a part of mine.
对于一个来自加利福尼亚的孩子来说，这真的是新鲜事物，但是我所寄宿的那一家人却很淡定。显然，这已经是他们日常生活的一部分，他们自信满满地管理着自己的工作和日常事务，生活在在我看来一点儿都不平常的环境中。在我们敏感的少年时代，这种经历和感受真的很强烈，在很短的时间内，我感受到了他们生活的一部分，甚至他们也是我的一部分。
A brief month later I was back home, but the experience had broken my world open. So much that had previously been taken for granted in my 14 years was now in question. Where and how I lived, what I could expect from the world- these were no longer a given. There were people, not imagined or studied about but real live people that I knew and loved, living in entirely different circumstances from my own. I had been intellectually aware of this basic truth, but living it, however briefly, was something else altogether.
一个月后没多久，我回到了家，但是这段经历打开了我的世界。 我有生14年来那些被认为是理所当然的很多东西现在都充满了疑惑。我住的地方和生活方式，以及我对世界的期望——都不再是已知数。有些人，那些我不太了解、也没有研究过，但却是我认识和爱过的真实的人，生活的环境与我完全不同。我已经从智力上意识到了这个基本真相：那样的生活，无论是多么的简单和短暂，都完全是另一回事。
Though I could not have expressed it then, with the benefit of hindsight it seems that the lesson I was learning was empathy- a sense of solidarity not with my cohorts, but with people whose circumstances differed significantly from my own. By the end of my stay the connection we felt was real, and I cried tears of sorrow to leave them.
尽管我当时无法表达出来，但事后诸葛一下，我那时学到的东西应该是同理心——一种团结感，并非出自同伴之间，而是来自于那些与我的境遇有很大差异的人们。在我逗留他乡的最后时刻里，我们感受到的那种连结是真实的，我哭泣着落下悲伤的眼泪离开了他们。
With the enthusiasm of youth I embraced the study of international relations, and especially languages. In the following summers I participated in exchanges in Spain, and Sweden, and then I cracked the atlas again and spent my freshman year of college in Switzerland before landing at Georgetown University. I entered GU with the expectation that I'd end up like so many graduates in interpreting or the foreign service. As fate would have it this was not to be.
带着年轻人的热情，我开始研究国际关系，尤其是语言。在接下来的夏天，我参加了在西班牙和瑞典的交流活动，然后又重新“破解”了我的地图册（估计又是掷骰子），去瑞士读了大一，然后才回到乔治敦大学就读。我进入GU时的期望是，我最终会跟许多同学一样，以翻译官或外交人员的身份毕业。然而事实并非如此。
I had always loved music and singing, and participated enthusiastically until my voice changed and I went from being a soprano to an awkward baritone who had only three notes, but never the same ones from day to day. With my growing interest in languages and the change of schools, I drifted away from music until as a junior in high school my best friend suggested that I join the choir.
我一直热爱音乐和唱歌，非常狂热，直到我变声为止，我突然从一个“女高音”变成了一个笨拙的男中音，只能唱三个音，而且是每天都不同的三个音。随着对语言兴趣的增长和学业的升迁，我逐渐脱离了音乐，直到高中一年级，我最好的朋友建议我加入合唱团。
By this time I had developed a taste for singer-songwriters, and I was listening to Billy Joel and Simon and Garfunkel on a new technology called compact discs. But also the Beethoven symphonies, which I would play at a volume sufficient to announce my musical tastes to the neighborhood. So when my friend suggested that I try the choir it didn't seem like such a stretch- after all I loved music and I loved words, and choir had both.
在那时，我已经对歌手和作曲人有了自己的品味，我那时通过一种新的录音技术在听比利·乔尔（Billy Joel）以及西蒙和加芬克尔（Simon&Garfunkel），就是被称为CD光盘的东西。 同时我还听贝多芬的交响曲，我的播放音量大到足以向邻居宣扬我的音乐品味。因此，当我的朋友建议我尝试唱合唱时，感觉并没有那么突兀——毕竟，我爱音乐，也喜欢文字，合唱当然也不例外。
Regular trips to Tower Records led to a broadening music collection, most often whatever was in the bargain cassette bin, but sometimes a splurge like the Strauss Four Last Songs on CD. By college I had listened to that recording a hundred times, and loved the poetry, especially Hermann Hesse's lines, which helped revive my rusty German skills.
定期去Tower Records（唱片店）淘碟扩充了我的音乐收藏，通常都是一些便宜的卡带，但有时也会挥霍一下，比如购买“斯特劳斯的4首最后的歌”（理查·斯特劳斯为女高音独唱和乐队而作的声乐套曲）的CD唱片。上大学之前，我已经听过这张唱片不下一百次，我很喜欢那些诗词，特别是赫尔曼·黑塞（Hermann Hesse）的句子，这有助于恢复我那些生了锈的德语技能。
One wintry day during my senior year of college I raced my bicycle to class in half the time it normally took as I pedaled furiously to keep from freezing. All the while I had the Strauss songs playing on my Walkman cassette player, and arriving early for class I settled outside the classroom with an unexpected moment to warm up and wait for class to begin. As I looked out over the landscape and listened something miraculous happened. The music that I knew so well was somehow suddenly entirely new, and the beauty of music grabbed me at a visceral level, announcing itself in feelings too big to be ignored. Something new was afoot, and a seed was planted that would eventually grow into a career in music.
在大四一个寒冷的冬日，我花了不到平时一半的时间就回到了课室，因为怕冷所以路上我发了疯似的骑自行车。我的Walkman（便携式卡带或光盘播放机）一路都在放着斯特劳斯的那4首歌，我到早了，放好自行车在课室外面暖身等着课室开门。这是出乎意料的时刻，当我边眺望远景边听歌时，奇迹发生了：我非常熟悉的音乐突然之间变得全新，那一刻音乐的美狠狠地抓住了我的内心，仿佛在宣告她的无比强大而不容你忽视。新的事物在潜升，播下了它的种子，最终变成了（我的）音乐事业。
Of course one's path is much easier to see in hindsight, and though I can track the decision to pursue music to that winter day, things moved in a less than linear way. There was another trip abroad, this time to teach English in Thailand, and one year teaching high school Spanish back in California. All the while, though, I was quietly preparing for a return to school to pursue music. This meant getting into the best choir I could, and upon returning home I auditioned for the San Francisco Symphony Chorus.
当然，事后看一个人所走过的路要容易得多，尽管我可以追溯到那个冬日所作出的追随音乐的决定，但事情的发展并不是一条直线。 后来还有另一次去国外，这次是在泰国教英语，然后再回加利福尼亚教了一年的高中西班牙语。但是，一直以来，我都在默默地准备重返学校学习音乐，这意味着我要尽可能加入最好的合唱团。回到家后，我参加了旧金山交响乐团合唱团的面试。
As one of the nation's most active symphony choruses, we used to say that the SFSC sings enough masses and requiems to marry and bury the entire state of California. For me it was the perfect opportunity to learn a craft, and also to make up for lost time as I expected to compete for admittance to grad school programs with students with proper music degrees, which I did not have. From my very first season I was as happy as a pig in a sty, devouring music just as fast as I could with each rehearsal.
作为美国最活跃的交响乐团合唱团之一，我们经常戏说SFSC演唱弥撒和安魂曲的次数足以嫁掉并埋葬掉所有的加州人。对我来说，这是学习一门手艺的绝佳机会，同时可以弥补那些我原本应该用来和专业学生竞争入学资格和音乐学位的时间。从我的第一个合唱季开始，我就象猪圈里的猪一样开心，每次排练时都倾尽全力“吞食”着音乐。
In December of my first season, despite my height I was placed, whether by accident or fate, in the front row of the choir. We were singing the Christmas Cantata of Honegger. At a certain moment there is a great gathering of energy, and then the full forces- adult choir, children's choir, orchestra and organ- all let go in a joyous pealing of carols, and from my position in the front I could hear it all. The sound was enormous, and I remember with absolute clarity an oceanic feeling sweeping through me as the boundaries that seemed to separate us fell away, banished by euphoria. Here again was empathy, in new clothing, but working its magic just as it had some ten years before. I was hooked.
在合唱团头一年的那个12月份，尽管我身高很高，但无论出于偶然还是缘分，我都被放在合唱团的第一排。我们唱奥涅格（Arthur Honegger，1892-1955，瑞士作曲家）的圣诞康塔塔。在某个时刻，能量聚集到了一块，然后全部的声音力量——成人合唱团、童声合唱团、管弦乐队和管风琴——爆发出欢乐的颂歌，我站在第一排可以听到这一切 。巨大的声浪，我绝对清晰地记得，如滔天海浪般席卷了我，所有的间隔和界限都消失了，被某种欣快感所驱散。这里再次出现了情感共鸣（empathy，上文的翻译是“同理心”），虽然外在表现不同，但就和十年前一样，它发挥了魔力。我被迷住了。
Now, all these years later I am still all in. As with any relationship, over time the giddiness of the new has been replaced with a deep-seated and enduring appreciation. The daily work of coming together to make music with others can be ennobling or frustrating, but on any given day, whether in rehearsal or performance, I know that experience that first hooked me is just around the corner, waiting for the right moment to reveal itself. We cannot control it, only invite that it come, and when it does we find ourselves, in C.S. Lewis' words, surprised by joy.
现在，这些年来，我依然全心投入。与任何关联事物一样，随着时间的流逝，对新事物的炫目驰迷已经被深刻而持久的欣赏所取代。与他人一起搞音乐的日常工作可能会让人羡慕或令人沮丧，但是在任何一天，无论是在排练还是在演出，我知道当初我所迷恋的东西此刻就在某处的角落中，正等待着合适的时机出现在你眼前。我们不能控制它，只能邀请它的到来，而一旦它出现，用C·S·路易斯（Clive Staples Lewis，1898-1963，英国作家）的话说，我们发现自己为喜悦而惊讶。
A wonderful teacher and friend said once that the most basic choice in life is between love and fear. As I've reflected on that over the years I've come to the idea that it's true, and that the choice isn't always obvious. Choosing love might not be easy. It can involve speaking a difficult truth, or having the courage to be who you are without apology. It can involve public and private failure, imperfection, and vulnerability that is not always comfortable. This is no Hallmark card sentiment, but a courageous embracing of life's challenges and a fierce rejection of all that would shrink and limit us.
一位出色的老师和朋友曾经说过，生活中最基本的选择是在爱与恐惧之间。经过多年的思考，我认为这是真的，尽管选择并不总是显而易见。选择爱可能并不容易，因为它会涉及说出一个难言的事实，或者需要坦荡的勇气。它还可能涉及大众和个人的失败、缺陷，以及令人不适的弱点。爱，不是贺卡上的那些情诗情句，而是勇敢地拥抱生活中的挑战，并坚拒那些会扭曲和限制我们的事物。
For those people who want to be liked (I am one) this can be hard. Playing it safe on the other hand can be very attractive, and is often well-compensated both socially and professionally. Fear, clothing itself in reasonableness, offers an enticing siren song, and we drape it around ourselves more often than we realize. But here's the problem: fear is incompatible with great music.
对于那些想要被喜欢的人（我就是其中之一）来说，这（指面对挑战）可能很难。另一方面，安安稳稳（的工作和生活）可能会更吸引人，而这在社交和职业两方面通常都能得到良好的回馈。恐惧、害怕或者顾虑，披着合情合理的外衣，会发出让人退缩的警告声，我们经常会被它所笼罩而不自知。这就是问题所在：恐惧和美妙的音乐格格不入。
It is a basic human need to belong to something bigger than ourselves. That need can be filled in a variety of ways: family, friends, or membership in spiritual communities or civic organizations. Even allegiance to a sports team can open a door to an experience of purpose and meaning. For me and many like me it is music's power that offers the most direct route.
归属于比我们自己更大的事物是人类的基本需求。这种需求可以通过多种方式来满足：家庭，朋友圈，宗教社区或者市民组织。甚至拥戴某支球队也可以成为人生目的和意义的体验之门。对于我以及和我一样的许多人来说，音乐的力量提供了最直接的途径。
I am reminded of this fact every Monday night as 200 singers from all over North Texas come together for Dallas Symphony Chorus rehearsals. These are people of differing backgrounds, faiths, ages, and life experiences, yet when we sing together we are one body, united in a common purpose. Every choral musician can describe those moments of grace when everything is open and flowing, paraphrasing Beethoven's words, from one heart to another. Here again is empathy- the breaking of boundaries and the experience of "we".
每周一晚上我都能明确这一事实，来自北德克萨斯的200位歌手齐聚一堂，参加达拉斯交响乐团合唱团的排练。这些人有着不同的背景、信仰、年龄和生活经历，但是当我们一起歌唱的时后，我们是一个整体，为了一个共同的目标而团结一致。每一位合唱音乐家都可以形容这个美妙的瞬间，当所有的灵魂都开放并流动着，用贝多芬的话来诠释，从一颗心到另一颗心。这里“情感共鸣”再度出现——没有“我”，只有“我们”。
That these ecstatic moments are rare and fleeting does nothing to diminish their power. When we look into another's eyes and find not "the other", but ourselves reflected back, the curtain of separateness is drawn back and we catch a glimpse of our true nature, of the joy that is our rightful inheritance. The Persian mystic Hafiz captures this well:
虽然这些欣喜若狂的时刻很少见，而且转瞬即逝，但这并没有削弱它们的力量。当我们看着另一双眼睛时发现那不是“另一个人”的眼睛，而是自己心神的反射（指合唱队员之间的心灵感应），隔阂消失无踪，我们将瞥见我们的真实本性，瞥见我们应得的欢喜。波斯修行者哈菲兹（Hāfez，1320～1389，波斯诗人）很生动地刻划了这种感受：
Where does real poetry come from?真正的诗歌从何而来？From the amorous sighs in this moist dark来自这潮湿的黑暗中多情的叹息When making love with form or spirit.当与肉身或精神做爱时Where does poetry live?诗歌在哪里？
In the eye that says "Wow wee"在说着“哇哦”的眼睛里In the overpowering felt splendor在压倒一切的光彩夺目中Every sane mind knows每个理智的头脑都知道When it realizes – our life dance当它意识到–我们的生命在跳舞Is only for a few magic seconds只是那几秒钟的魔幻时刻
From the heart saying, shouting内心在说，在喊"I am so damn alive."“我真TM是活着的”
It is our human nature to live this love and fear battle anew every day. Both will enter our lives whether we invite them or not, and external and societal forces will play out this same drama. We should expect not a linear progression, but a cycle of steps forward and reversals that will frustrate even the most steadfast among us.
每天经历想去做一件事与顾虑重重的思想斗争是人之常情。无论我们是否乐意，这两者都会进入我们的生活，与外部和社会的力量一道上演着相同的戏码。我们无法指望一件事情能够直线发展，只能是迂回前行，甚至会遇到能让我们当中那些最坚定的人遭受挫败的被逆转的情形。
In these moments we have a choice to make. Fear will beckon seductively, inviting us to wall ourselves in communities of the like-minded, demonizing “the other.” Clothed in righteousness we can rain down intolerance on the intolerant, and the cycle of fear will continue. Or we can walk the narrow path of love, and do the hard work of finding common cause, even with those in the thrall of fear.
在这些时候，我们要做出选择。 恐惧会诱使你屈服，让我们陷入人云亦云且妖魔化异见的围城，城头是伪装正义的幌子，让恐惧得以延续。或者，我们可以选择走那一条狭窄但充满热爱的道路，为寻求共同的理想而努力奋斗，即便是和那些心怀忐忑的人在一起。
If choral music has taught me anything, it is that empathy beyond all borders is the only way forward. Let’s get to work.
如果说合唱音乐教会了我什么，那就是（认识到）超越所有边界之上的人类情感共鸣是我们前行的唯一途径。 让我们开始工作吧。
Joshua Habermann
约叔华·黑伯曼 （Ha的发音是“黑”，小虫注）
Conductor, Dallas Symphony Chorus达拉斯交响乐团合唱团指挥
Music Director, Santa Fe Desert Chorale圣塔菲沙漠合唱团音乐总监
原文链接：https://choralnet.org/2017/02/thinking-beyond-borders-dr-joshua-habermann/发表人：T.J. Harper
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最后
奉上让Joshua走上音乐道路的那“最后4首歌”
一起尝试感受大师的感受
Soprano：Elisabeth Schwarzkopf（1915-2006）Berlin Radio Symphony OrchestraConductor：George Szell（1897-1970）·曲目列表·倒数第4首：Spring，春
倒数第3首：September，九月倒数第2首：Going to Sleep，入睡倒数第1首：In the Glow of Evening，在夜光中
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